learn from the best…or not.

 données par les meilleurs…ou pas.

lainey gossip interviews sarah kaff, an inspirational masters student who is using her own brilliance to bring help & hope to buenos aires.

*disclaimer: no celebrity endorsements are intended or implied from the content of these interviews.

 

 

Sarah Kaff, 22

Born: Saudi Arabia (Father is Egyptian, Mother is Algerian)

Moved to Canada: August 1994 first to Montreal and then to Ottawa in 1997

Languages spoken at home: Arabic, French, English

 

Lainey-

Where are you right now?

 

Sarah-

Buenos Aires. I’ve been in Argentina since January.

 

Lainey-

You’re there on a practicum, right?

 

Sarah-

Yes, I’m doing my practicum at a teaching hospital in HIV prevention.

 

Lainey-

What’s your focus?

 

Sarah-

Women with HIV, pregnant women with HIV, and women trying to get pregnant with HIV, and gay men.

 

Lainey-

Why Buenos Aires?

 

Sarah-

I really wanted to go to S America for my practicum for my masters. I’m doing a Masters in Public Health at the University of Waterloo and they encourage us to stay in Canada but I looked at the list of possible options, and I really wanted to go abroad, especially in the developing world. I wanted to get into HIV prevention and treatment and work with women.

 

Lainey-

Why women in particular?

 

Sarah-

We talk a lot in our program about the feminisation of HIV. What that means is that we see it more in developing nations — more and more women are getting HIV than there are men. Over 50% globally more infections are in women. HIV, to me, it’s not just a virus. It’s a social disease. It’s spread through sex work, especially in Africa it’s spread through migration. Women tend to be the ones who uphold the family so when they get infected and they don’t have treatment, it’s the entire family that gets affected by it. That’s why it’s my focus. The implications that this disease is having on the Female, collectively. And in North America, we might be hearing about it as much.

 

Lainey-

So what are the particular challenges of the people you’re working with and the patients you’re treating?

 

Sarah-

The majority of our patients are middle class, upper lower class, they tend to be more educated, they understand the disease but there are a lot of cultural implications that are intertwined with the disease. Argentina is not well known for advocating for sex ed and encouraging people to educate themselves. Most infections are from sex. Not IV users. People are being infected by partners. I’ve met a lot of hetero couples who are infected together. You go to a drug store and condoms are locked away, not readily accessible. We need to start encouraging these discussions.

 

We are trying to develop programs to send to adolescents, especially young women about the benefits of having safe sex.

 

Lainey-

Have we become complacent about HIV?

 

Sarah-

Yes, especially in my generation. People my age don’t worry about it. That’s what I see here with a lot of my patients. They worry about other STIs. There’s still a big lack of education. And we are still seeing a lot of deaths from AIDS, even in places that are socioeconomically sound.

 

Lainey-

What do your parents think of what you’re doing?

 

Sarah-

They love it. They are really happy I’m here. My dad is a pharmacist, he knows it’s important. Coming from immigrant parents, they always wanted me to be a doctor. You know, the traditional professions. I had to convince them I could still work in health care but not necessarily be a doctor. I told them in 2^nd year that I didn’t want to go med school. And I sat them down and showed them all the programs. Now they’ve come around. Now I fight with them about where I should work afterwards. They want me to go into government!

 

Lainey-

Do you think your generation gets a bad reputation?

 

Sarah-

There’s always the reputation that we are selfish, that we don’t know how to communicate, that we are inept at social situations, that technology has spoiled us. I think that’s really unfair. Obviously there are bad apples in very generation, but when they say technology has ruined the youth I object. It has done nothing but help us. It has helped us connect to the world. Every generation is selfish. It’s not just us. It’s just amplified by the media now.

 

Lainey-

How about entitlement?

 

Sarah-

I have 3 roommates. We’re 19 - 26 and we do agree that we are the entitled generation. That we want things NOW. I don’t know where that comes from. I don’t want to blame our parents. But it had to come from somewhere. For me I come from immigrant parents who busted their asses. My parents worked so hard. My dad didn’t have an income for the first few years because his degree didn’t transfer immediately to Canada. So I saw their journey and I learned from that. I always think about what would my mom think, what would my dad think before I make my decisions. That matters to me. I call my mom the Camel Mom,  like the Tiger Mom from that book. It shaped my work ethic. Maybe it has to be the example that parents set for their kids.

 

Lainey-

OK, so you’re doing your practicum, you’re dealing sometimes with some heavy sh-t, what’s your balance? How do you balance?

 

Sarah-

Celebrity gossip is my fallback! My first year in university when I was overwhelmed by my studies, I can focus on and it helps me forget. And, um, I’m a huge one direction fan. Because I’m obviously 12 years old. And…my profession might be in science, but I love the arts. I love movies and music. It’s always nice to know what goes on behind that world. My favourite articles are the ones about the industry and why someone was picked over someone else. And the publicity. It’s a big reflection on society.

 

Lainey-

What is a gossip story you refuse to believe?

 

Sarah-

I don’t think Jake gyllenhaal is gay.

 

Lainey-

Good because he isn’t.

 

Lainey-

OK, so who would play you in a movie about your life?

 

Sarah-

Unless an Arab star breaks out in Hollywood any time soon, there’s no one who looks like me so it’s more on attitude. I’ll say Jennifer Lawrence because I love her and I feel like we could be really good friends. Ha!

 

Lainey-

Who would be your best friend in the movie?

 

Sarah-

Emma Stone. I really like her. And I’ve gotten really close with some of the girls on GossipCon Facebook. And they’re all really crazy and funny and wild. Someone like that.

 

Lainey-

Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Stone are friends in real life. It’s like gossip porn. OK, what song would be playing in the movie of your life during the montage?

 

Sarah:

Something by Arctic Monkeys. And Tina Fey would write it and Amy Poehler would play my mom!

 

Lainey-

What music video would you have wanted to be a part of?

 

Sarah-

Anything by Beyonce — I want to be one of her backup dancers.

 

Lainey-

And whose celebrity baby would you want to be the godmother for?

 

Sarah-

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Apple. Just so I can get an in with the whole crowd.

 

Lainey-

Favourite Oscar dress of all time?

 

Sarah-

Anything that Maggie Gyllenhaal has ever worn. Rachel McAdams’s Elie Saab. Charlize Theron this year. Anything that Helena Bonham Carter wears. I like it when people go crazy on the red carpet. Cate Blanchett’s Dries Van Noten when she was pregnant.

school bells are ringing and class is in session! the first lainey gossip faculty tour stop is tonight in victoria. the dean (and queen) of gossip will school the class about the realm of rumor. want your name on the attendance list at one of her next stops? (edmonton - april 10, winnipeg - april 11, halifax - april 24, montreal - april 25, london - april 29) visit laineygossip.com to enroll.  

la cloche a sonné, le cours a commencé! premier arrêt de la tournée universitaire en potinage: victoria. la directrice (et reine) des potins vous enseignera l’abc des racontars sur les stars. tu veux t’inscrire aux prochaines séances? (edmonton - 10 avril, winnipeg - 11 avril, halifax - 24 avril, montréal - 25 avril, london - 29 avril) visite laineygossip.com  

TEDx talk by lainey gossip

At the end of September, I was invited to speak at TED X Vancouver. I’ve seen my share of TED Talks. TED Talkers are inspirational, motivational, and some of them are really, really famous and culturally important. Like… Bill Gates. Bill Gates has presented twice at TED! During one of his presentations, about reducing the number of malaria infections, he released a jar of mosquitoes into the auditorium. Bill Gates is doing great work with his foundation. He’s using his wealth to elevate our society. And then there’s me, a professional gossip, addressing 2,500 people in-house and thousands upon thousands more online on a subject that’s at best polarising, and is indisputably much-maligned…

It was a huge opportunity. But at first, I considered turning it down. Not because I’m afraid of public speaking but because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to defend Gossip the way it deserved to be defended. TED attendees pay to spend their day listening to scientists, financial wizards, philanthropists, and extraordinary entrepreneurs and they expect to engaged and challenged, to be introduced to “ideas worth spreading”, encouraged to examine issues from new perspectives, to question existing assumptions and consider alternative solutions. What place does Gossip have in that environment?

But isn’t that the raison d’etre of the Faculty Of Celebrity Studies?

Last summer, I toured Canada with vitaminwater to launch the Faculty and to crusade for the value of Gossip in society. We debated. We argued. We analysed the importance of Gossip in its observation of social behaviour, and the insight these observations can provide in understanding modern social culture —- who we are, where we are going.

Amazingly enough, TED organisers didn’t disagree. They invited me to make the case on a much wider scale. I accepted. I had three weeks to write the speech. But I had help.

TED organisers are just as invested in their speakers as the speakers are invested in themselves. After all, they’re responsible for protecting their brand. The speakers represent their brand. The speakers are, arguably, the only representatives of the TED brand. They wanted me to do well, and they provided every resource to make that possible.

I worked closely with my TED adviser to outline the core ideas of my speech. Initially we didn’t write anything down. He just told me to talk about Gossip, to talk about why I love Gossip, and why Gossip is important, how gossip is a reflection of our current standard of morality. Then he asked me to provide specific examples. We still weren’t writing anything down. It was a conversation — just like gossip is a conversation, and it happens to be the conversation that exposes who we are. Because the interesting thing about Gossip is that it cannot be consumed without bias. We all consume Gossip through the prism of our own experience. And in filtering Gossip through our own experiential analysis, what comes out the other side is a pretty definitive declaration about what we believe, what we expect, what we reject, and how we process.

There it was: my thesis. It took a week to get there.

I spent the following week writing the first draft of the speech on my own but struggling with the tone. It was initially too… judgmental. When I presented it to my adviser he advised me to focus more on the thesis — that gossip is academic — and to relate every section of the speech back to the idea of gossip as anthropology, like we did at the Faculty Of Celebrity Studies, where we made our point not by giving the answer but by asking the question. Which is… kinda the point of going to school, right?

Is there a gender double standard in our interpretation of celebrity cheating scandals? And if so, what does that say about our society’s expectation of females in relationships? What does it say about our society’s attitude about violence towards women if a singer who abuses his girlfriend can go on to win awards and sell out concerts?

These were the questions I’d be asking the TED audience. The speech was coming together. And now I had a week to learn it.

According to conventional speech-giving wisdom, you’re not supposed to memorise. You should know the ideas, and the order of your ideas, but you should never learn every word by heart because the fear is that if you blank, you won’t be able to find your spot, pick up, and keep going.

But I am a memoriser. I have always been a memoriser. And there were specific lines in the speech that I had written with specific words in specific phrasing that I really wanted to hit. I decided not to change my technique. I memorised my speech. All 18 minutes of it from beginning to end. TED was scheduled for Sunday, October 21^st. I spent the 5 days leading up to the presentation learning every word. Two days before the event, I was reciting the speech from memory up to 6 or 7 times a day. Then, the day before my speech, they told me that I was going last.

I arrived at the venue on TED Day at 9am. I wouldn’t be speaking for another 9 hours. I was worried that this would freak me out. That the anxiety would build to a point where I’d have a meltdown and not be able to perform. The first speaker was scheduled to go on stage just after 10am. Her topic was noise pollution and how it’s affecting whales in the Artic. She was amazing. They were all amazing. And so supportive of each other. And so interesting! Did you know that one of the proposed ways to avert an asteroid-earth collision disaster is to fly a rocket up to it and spray paint one side of it to cause a thermal imbalance and throw it off course?

Look, I’m not going to lie and say that meeting all these great people totally took away my nervousness. Of course not. But I was part of a community that day. And I realised that the speech itself wouldn’t be my only take-away from the experience. It was an unexpected bonus that would somehow balance it all out if I bombed.

In the end I didn’t bomb. And I didn’t blank either. I delivered my speech, completely memorised. I’m told it went well. That it was received the way it was intended to be received — some responded positively, and some were offended.

After all, if Gossip isn’t polarising, it’s not doing its job.

our friend lainey gossip is back and busier than ever. not only does she have a TEDx talk under her belt and is now reconvening the faculty of celebrity studies; but she will also be taking time away from the bustling world of gossip to showcase you! 

each month lainey will interview someone outstanding from our community to highlight their #everydaybrilliance. if you’d like to nominate someone whose #everydaybrilliance should be showcased, email inquiries@laineygossip.com with #everydaybrilliance as the title and tell us about this awesome person. they deserve to be recognised!

to kick off our interviews, we asked lainey a few questions of our own: 

1. you’re totally offline for the weekend (no wifi/cell service), what do you bring?

As in no technology, whatsoever? If we had television and a DVD player, I’d bring all 5 seasons of Friday Night Lights. If TV is not allowed, I’d bring all 7 Harry Potter books, back issues of magazines I’ve not had time to read and my trainers and gym gear, with every intention of being smart and healthy…and then I’d spend the entire weekend asleep.

2. what is in your pocket/purse?

Wallet, feng shui pouch, headphones, lipgloss, pen, electronic cigarette, blackberries, mints

3. when and where are you happiest?

Naptime with my dogs

4. have you ever googled yourself? if so, what was the most surprising thing you found?

I get enough hate-mail that I don’t have to google myself. But someone just sent me a link to a blind item site about a blogger who cleaned out a gifting suite and people think it’s either me or some other famous blogger. 

5. what do you wear to bed?

Proper pyjamas monogrammed with my initials.

6. who would you most love to learn from/collaborate/work with?

Zadie Smith

7. facebook, twitter, instagram, blogs – where do you find yourself spending the most time online? why?

Blogs. I prefer long-form online writing.

8. who was your teenage role-model?

Madonna

9. if you had to give your teenage-self one piece of advice what would it be?

Don’t cut class so much. I cut class so often I had to enroll in summer school one year. God, I was stupid.

10. what’s your most overused texting short form?

OMG 

11. what’s your morning ritual?

Eyedrops and hot water

12. what’s one thing you can’t live without?

My glasses

13. what is your greatest extravagance?

Sushi

14. who or what are your top three influences?

My mother, my father, my insecurity

*disclaimer: no celebrity endorsements are intended or implied from the content of this interviews.

TED Talk

 

At the end of September, I was invited to speak at TED X Vancouver. I’ve seen my share of TED Talks. TED Talkers are inspirational, motivational, and some of them are really, really famous and culturally important. Like… Bill Gates. Bill Gates has presented twice at TED! During one of his presentations, about reducing the number of malaria infections, he released a jar of mosquitoes into the auditorium. Bill Gates is doing great work with his foundation. He’s using his wealth to elevate our society. And then there’s me, a professional gossip, addressing 2,500 people in-house and thousands upon thousands more online on a subject that’s at best polarising, and is indisputably much-maligned…

 

It was a huge opportunity. But at first, I considered turning it down. Not because I’m afraid of public speaking but because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to defend Gossip the way it deserved to be defended. TED attendees pay to spend their day listening to scientists, financial wizards, philanthropists, and extraordinary entrepreneurs and they expect to engaged and challenged, to be introduced to “ideas worth spreading”, encouraged to examine issues from new perspectives, to question existing assumptions and consider alternative solutions. What place does Gossip have in that environment?

 

But isn’t that the raison d’etre of the Faculty Of Celebrity Studies?

 

Last summer, I toured Canada with vitaminwater to launch the Faculty and to crusade for the value of Gossip in society. We debated. We argued. We analysed the importance of Gossip in its observation of social behaviour, and the insight these observations can provide in understanding modern social culture —- who we are, where we are going.

 

Amazingly enough, TED organisers didn’t disagree. They invited me to make the case on a much wider scale. I accepted. I had three weeks to write the speech. But I had help.

 

TED organisers are just as invested in their speakers as the speakers are invested in themselves. After all, they’re responsible for protecting their brand. The speakers represent their brand. The speakers are, arguably, the only representatives of the TED brand. They wanted me to do well, and they provided every resource to make that possible.

 

I worked closely with my TED adviser to outline the core ideas of my speech. Initially we didn’t write anything down. He just told me to talk about Gossip, to talk about why I love Gossip, and why Gossip is important, how gossip is a reflection of our current standard of morality. Then he asked me to provide specific examples. We still weren’t writing anything down. It was a conversation — just like gossip is a conversation, and it happens to be the conversation that exposes who we are. Because the interesting thing about Gossip is that it cannot be consumed without bias. We all consume Gossip through the prism of our own experience. And in filtering Gossip through our own experiential analysis, what comes out the other side is a pretty definitive declaration about what we believe, what we expect, what we reject, and how we process.

 

There it was: my thesis. It took a week to get there.

 

I spent the following week writing the first draft of the speech on my own but struggling with the tone. It was initially too… judgmental. When I presented it to my adviser he advised me to focus more on the thesis — that gossip is academic — and to relate every section of the speech back to the idea of gossip as anthropology, like we did at the Faculty Of Celebrity Studies, where we made our point not by giving the answer but by asking the question. Which is… kinda the point of going to school, right?

 

Is there a gender double standard in our interpretation of celebrity cheating scandals? And if so, what does that say about our society’s expectation of females in relationships? What does it say about our society’s attitude about violence towards women if a singer who abuses his girlfriend can go on to win awards and sell out concerts?

 

These were the questions I’d be asking the TED audience. The speech was coming together. And now I had a week to learn it.

 

According to conventional speech-giving wisdom, you’re not supposed to memorise. You should know the ideas, and the order of your ideas, but you should never learn every word by heart because the fear is that if you blank, you won’t be able to find your spot, pick up, and keep going.

 

But I am a memoriser. I have always been a memoriser. And there were specific lines in the speech that I had written with specific words in specific phrasing that I really wanted to hit. I decided not to change my technique. I memorised my speech. All 18 minutes of it from beginning to end. TED was scheduled for Sunday, October 21^st. I spent the 5 days leading up to the presentation learning every word. Two days before the event, I was reciting the speech from memory up to 6 or 7 times a day. Then, the day before my speech, they told me that I was going last.

 

I arrived at the venue on TED Day at 9am. I wouldn’t be speaking for another 9 hours. I was worried that this would freak me out. That the anxiety would build to a point where I’d have a meltdown and not be able to perform. The first speaker was scheduled to go on stage just after 10am. Her topic was noise pollution and how it’s affecting whales in the Artic. She was amazing. They were all amazing. And so supportive of each other. And so interesting! Did you know that one of the proposed ways to avert an asteroid-earth collision disaster is to fly a rocket up to it and spray paint one side of it to cause a thermal imbalance and throw it off course?

 

Look, I’m not going to lie and say that meeting all these great people totally took away my nervousness. Of course not. But I was part of a community that day. And I realised that the speech itself wouldn’t be my only take-away from the experience. It was an unexpected bonus that would somehow balance it all out if I bombed.

 

In the end I didn’t bomb. And I didn’t blank either. I delivered my speech, completely memorised. I’m told it went well. That it was received the way it was intended to be received — some responded positively, and some were offended.

 

After all, if Gossip isn’t polarising, it’s not doing its job.